Jet McDonald

Walking in Walking shoes

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There’s nothing like a good warm walking shoe to bounce upon the earth. The only problem is dog shit. I’m pretty neutral on dogs. But not dog shit.

It doesn’t matter how Vibram soled Goretex layered your walking shoe is it will not be impervious to dog shit. In fact your molten lead resistant super strong yet flexible yet cushioned shoe Vibram base with intricate jigsaw puzzle grip surface attracts dog  shit. It dreams of it. It weds it. It writes love poems to it and goes on honeymoon to Bali with it and asks if it can move in on a cohabiting basis and share domestic duties pinned to the kitchen noticeboard with it.

If I walked predominantly on Scarpa Fell or Ben Nevis I might get sheep poo. But for an urban walker with mountain pretensions you get the arse end of civilisation.

None of this would matter if we lived in a culture where we took our shoes off before we entered the house (as per Islam) But we live in a society where the shoe is a welcome guest on our Axminsters and sheep wool rugs.

What to do? Stop walking in walking shoes? Carry a pressure hose with you at all times and spray the path ahead like a vain fireman? Or walk barefoot through the shopping malls and always carry a wet wipe.

I’m going to wrap my super waterproof super breathable acid and alkali resistant walking shoes in Waitrose carrier bags and crunch through the streets like an explorer aching for the pure white fall of snow.

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